Successful emigrants often tell a story not of wanting to leave or go somewhere, but of wanting to go further. And although moving on always includes moving away, it describes a different, positive dynamic. It is a path traveled, on which one has paused from time to time, and which one continues to walk, with the next resting place in mind, but full of curiosity about what will come until there. There is not a “there” or “here.” There is a “now” and a “maybe” and a “before”.

And when you try to tell one of these successful stories, you choose your words carefully. For it sometimes seems too difficult to describe the fine nuances, the true fascination that is sometimes hard to hear. It is a story, unspectacular, yet full of wisdom, true joy of life and trust. One without dramas, despair and defeats. Simply a success.

The story of life and emigration begins a little more than 35 years ago in a small town in the countryside. A little girl grows up sheltered and in freedom. The parents try to make a lot possible, every summer they go to Italy, every summer a great adventure. I imagine a child who goes into this world full of confidence, joy and curiosity. That reality was sometimes not so simple, remained with the parents. And as great as this world was, for the growing older child, it eventually became too small.

In her mid-20s, she wanted to move on. “I just didn’t feel like it anymore. We had found each other as a couple, our friends were there, everyone went to work, we lived in Munich. We felt comfortable. But the future desired by so many around us, with a house, children and a life in the country, was not ours.” Especially since finding a nice apartment in Munich back in 2008 was not so easy even with two salaries. They were just too small.

“Why not move to Seattle?” was the idea. “I’ve been there before, it’s nice there, you might like it,” said the man. The vacation was great, and the plan made. Just live somewhere else for a few years. The man already had a job there.

With two suitcases and some boxes, which remained in Germany, they went to Seattle. They could live with friends. Anyone who was in Seattle at that time knows that the city, like so many others, has become a worse, dirtier and more dangerous place today. Thirteen years ago, things looked different. Downtown Seattle was also impressive and fascinating.

And the first impression? “Everything was bigger, more awesome, more exciting – just nicer. People have much more space to live. You can always find a kitchen and lamps in apartments in houses here – whether you rent or buy. Health insurance covers many more preventive examinations, food is much more expensive, but also much better. Cars are bigger and there is plenty of room to park”.

Enthusiasm and curiosity put everything in perspective: the area with its many parks, lakes, nature, proximity to the mountains, the sea, the weather – never too cold – never too hot. The people friendly and open. Personal connections were quickly made, because both arrived with the right spirit and sometimes chance helped.  And over the years they have become valuable friends.

Our emigrant is a personality with a keen mind, a big heart and more of a ” maker type “. And so, she ventured a new professional start with a lawyer, which she would never have been able to do in Germany because of her education.

But wait, not so fast: Ever thought of playing a computer game? Our emigrant accepted the challenge and became a professional game tester at Nintendo! And after a few months she had to laugh about herself, how she was there with many other people from 16 on, trying to reach some level all day long. The workday was set to the minutes, timed, you can do that as a teenager – “maybe then you also need the fixed structures where you have to ask for permission if you want to leave the workplace for a moment”. It was an experience she would never want to miss, but fortunately it was over.

Another of America’s advantages: Here you can prove yourself, show what you can do. There is no dual education system like in Germany here (note: And it’s almost impossible to explain this system to an American) and sometimes you can see that in the quality. But the other side is that companies aren’t so stuck – don’t have to be when it comes to hiring new employees. And during these next years while working for the lawyer, she gets to know many life stories of Americans and thus also the negative sides: The way down is usually very fast here, the social network is missing.

And that eventually had weighed on her too much and she looked for a new job.

Life sometimes offers you what you would never have chosen yourself, and yet it’s exactly the right thing. The few years have now become more than 10, the belongings no longer fit into two suitcases and the things left behind in Germany are not needed. A house with a lot of land around it is found, gardening is important, it is a piece of putting down roots, of someone who actually thought this being is not for him. It’s a big piece of taking responsibility, from someone who didn’t see it that way for himself.

And I think this is where we get to the real secret of why this emigration and this person were and are so successful: You have an understanding of yourself, an idea, an identity, convictions and plans. And then you let life happen and you don’t let yourself be impressed by supposed inevitabilities.  And from the outside we see a rather ambivalent person, but that is exactly what makes him so completely at peace and content. And enables him to do what is at hand. Because he doesn’t hold on to what he thought before but can get enthusiastic about new possibilities that present themselves to him. And yet keeps an eye on what is important to him.

If you ask for first-hand information about America, it’s the usual stuff, like the fact that anything seems possible for the time being. But the sentence that strikes me in conversation describes it best: Every country has its advantages and disadvantages. In every country there is this and that, and in each one you have to have a large portion of luck, brains, diligence and company in order to live well. But sometimes the scenery is just nicer.

And now? At the moment our emigrant stays here, but when she thinks about the fact that both of them are getting older: “We buy a camper and look at the many places that we have not yet seen in America, despite everything. And then see. A lot of our friends don’t stay here because you can’t afford to live in this area when you get older. And then we will also reorient ourselves in the long term.” Will it be back to Germany? Or to another country? There are various plans, including some pragmatic considerations. But we will see.

And I take my hat off to a personality whose abilities to live in the here and now, to accept the challenges, to leave the past in yesterday and to dream and approach the future with curiosity but without naivety, impress me very much.

We see here: An emigration does not succeed by itself. Important foundations have to be laid and you have to understand how the country you are going to works. The time to understand the unwritten social laws, to learn the communication behind the spoken word and to find your place is important. And then you need all the things that I have also tried to describe here.

We talked for a long time, and I experienced a lot, learned a lot. It has become cold here in Seattle in the meantime.

In a good mood, thoughtful, impressed and in my thoughts I go home.

It is not so far for me either.